Was there ever a time in your life where everything you wrote, said, did, breathed felt cloaked with a thin film of unease?
Like if you could just keep going you might be able to rub through the residue and living would become comfortable again.
And maybe you did. Maybe you needed a change of scenery or work. Maybe you needed to end a relationship.
Life becomes artificially sweetened due to the trigger’s absence. But while you’re no longer in the situation, that old situation can still hang around in you.
It shows up in your next house or office. Your next relationship.
And when it shows up, it’s time to wonder: Am I just unlucky? Why do the same things keep happening to me?
Or it’s time to own up: What am I not learning? Why did I let this pattern continue?
We wait for life to get comfortable and forget that we’re the ones living it.
The unease returns. You go back to the half-shell version of You that maybe blames the Universe.
So go ahead: Say it’s unfair. Say it was never supposed to happen this way.
Then say I’m sorry.
Say I’m sorry
Right when you think of apologizing, blurt it out. Call up the friend. Call the family member into the room. Say you’re sorry to yourself.
Saying I’m sorry is relief. It’s owning up to your half of each situation and making good with the person you aim to be.
Each I’m sorry is a do over that helps you get back to being You.
When you know you’ve been unreasonable toward someone else or yourself, it’s easy for shame to creep in and stall your apology. But time is not a friend of words left unsaid. The more time passes, the harder it is to apologize.
Don’t wait for your life to get more comfortable, just as you wouldn’t wait for your body to become more limber. Get on the mat and let out the shame, the unease, the idea that things won’t be okay.
And then confess in the most honest way possible that you were doing the best you could with what you had at the time.
This is the most important and vulnerable I’m sorry you can ever say.
Try it: Staff Pose, Dandasana
This pose might seem like a breeze to you. It all depends on posture. If you’re working on better posture, this pose will teach you the basic rules of alignment of your spine.
If you’ve already cultivated good posture, you might wonder what this yoga pose helps with. For me, it’s a reminder of where I used to be — closed heart, tight shoulders. Lift your chest proudly; that open heart will help whenever it’s time to say I’m sorry.
If you’re curious about your spine’s alignment, try the pose first with your back against a wall. Your shoulders and sacrum will touch the wall, while the natural curve in your lower back and the back of the head will not.
- Sit on the floor with your legs extended in front of you. If you find yourself leaning backward or unable to straighten the legs, sit on the edge of a couple folded up blankets.
- Place your hands on either side of your hips, fingers forward. Anchor the thigh bones down, rotating the thighs in toward one another. Press through the heels and flex the toes.
- Inhale and press into the arms, lengthening the torso. Imagine the crown of your head reaching tall and the tailbone sinking into the mat.
- Stay for six deep inhales and exhales, then loosen the press of your palms and soften your legs to come out of the pose.