It’s difficult to imagine living a life of total self-love because, for most of us, that life requires an identity switch.
It means looking in the mirror and not focusing on the pimple. It means not deflecting compliments from others. It means ending behaviors that cause you to be “less than” and instead embracing that you are enough.
Until my mid-to-late twenties, I never felt like I was enough. I wasn’t cool enough to have lots of friends. I wasn’t smart enough to be the valedictorian. I wasn’t pretty enough to attract a deep, all-consuming love.
These are the concerns of a mind that has been allowed to run rampant in the Land of Not Enough.
If your mind is dwelling in this place right now, here’s a simple reminder:
You may never feel like you are enough, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t enough.
The process to fully feeling enough never ends, because feelings are come-and-go affairs. On any given day, it’s mastery over feelings that determines the quality of your self-love.
You can be the best in the world at your craft and still struggle with feeling like a fraud. It’s all rooted in thought, which manifests into how you feel about yourself.
As a truth seeker and sensitive, creative soul, I know you’re susceptible to feeling disconnected. All I need to do is tell you I’m an INFJ, and if you’re into personality typing, you’ll know I’m on your boat. But before we throw the lifejackets on and hope for the best, there are a few things I’ve learned while swimming in the deep end.
You are not enslaved to your moodiness.
Being vulnerable to your emotions is great when the momentum is turned toward happiness. Not so great when paddling in the opposite direction. The trouble with being “moody” is that it’s easy to hide behind. The label becomes a tender identity, one that feels necessary and difficult to change.
The key is not to engineer a life devoid of highs and lows, but to develop consistency in your feelings. Lucky you: This happens every time you practice yoga and meditation.
‘I am enough’ alchemy
Through yoga, the mind abandons the Land of Not Enough just long enough to make some changes. You begin to consciously witness what happens when faced with a difficult asana. All the “I’m not strong/flexible enoughs” are like brain litter that you dispose of on each exhale as you move your body toward the pose.
Witnessing what the body is capable of doing, compared to what the mind thinks it can do, stops the “not enough” train in its tracks.
This doesn’t mean finally nailing a handstand or having a breakthrough with an arm balance. That alone won’t create enoughness.
Enoughness is reinforced when you let go of the idea that you need to occupy those poses in order to feel complete.
No moment on the mat is wasted, even if it might feel that way. The physical yoga practice is demanding because only when we come up against our edges can we see the possibility that we are not our edges.
How you feel and who you are at your core are two separate things, and yoga is the path to illuminate the first so you can get to the second.
You are sacred. Beloved. Treasured.
You are more than enough.
Get to your mat or meditation cushion today and make this your mantra: I am enough.
This is one of the most precious learnings of yoga practiced with intention.
Try it: Revolved Pyramid Pose, Parivrtta Parsvottanasana
Just two years ago, this pose gave me straight-up pain and the fact that I didn’t feel good in it went to my ego. With continuous practice and lots of letting go, I look at myself now in this pose in disbelief. It’s a reminder to rethink your identity every moment of the day, otherwise you’ll miss the breakthroughs. This pose differs from its companion Revolved Triangle Pose due to a shorter stance.
1. From the top of your mat, step your left leg back about 3 feet. Align heel-to-heel and turn the left toes out 45 degrees to the left, while the right foot remains facing the top of the mat. Bring your hands to your hips.
2. Plant firmly into the right ball of the foot and the outer edge of the left foot. Firm up through your thighs. Ensure the sacrum is level, rooting the right hip back and left hip slightly forward.
3. Inhale, raise your arms up and lengthen your torso away from the hips. Exhale and twist to the right, placing the left hand on the foot (or outside/inside of the foot, depending on your range of motion) while the right arm extends upward.
4. Take a few rounds of deep breath to feel length through the fingertips, and twisting on the exhales from the upper spine to deepen. Anchor both legs firmly and resist the bend of the left knee. Allow your head to be loose and gaze to the side. Stay for six deep breaths.
5. Exhale and release both hands down to the mat, pausing in Pyramid Pose with the torso over the front thigh. Step the back leg forward to the top of the mat and inhale, rise to standing. Practice the other side when ready.